CollegeSportsDream.com

2006-09-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 9-17-06

Dear Billy,

So many times in the sports world you hear about the importance of having that desire and attitude to succeed. What's more important, talent or desire for the student athlete? We have a 12 year old son who works hard and has a great attitude. His talent level is so-so for his favorite sport, which is football. How will future coaches grade the importance of each?

Ohio Parents

Dear Ohio Parents,

Most coaches will depend on athletes they can develop, teach, and train to do the things they want them to do. Most coaches take the approach of 'you get me the athlete with raw talent, and I can mold and shape them into one that I like.' For the most part, this will hold true. At the same time, coaches are always looking for that athlete with the extra desire and good attitude who's glad to be part of a team. Coaches know that this can be contagious and rub off on the other kids. No doubt that talent outweighs desire and attitude, but a good athlete possesses all three. Most athletes who possess a strong desire to succeed will find success, whether it be sports, academics, or eventually the business world.

Dear Parents,

There is nothing more annoying than a parent who lives their own personal athletic dreams through their children. We have all seen this type of parent. Parents should be supportive of their child's athletic endeavors, but not overbearing. Don't be too boisterous or too visible. You know why? Because if you are lucky enough to have a good athlete, other people will notice without your comments. Use common sense and try to put yourself in the position of the coach, officials, or other parents if a controversy comes up. The main goal of a sports parent should be to develop a good relationship between themselves and their child. Never let a bad sports experience come between you and your child. You are the adult and must set the example for your child.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Be realistic about your child's athletic ability and athletic potential. Don't expect too much, regardless of their age or ability.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

Billy Shepherd is a former Indiana Mr. Basketball and a professional athlete (ABA) who earned 15 varsity letters in high school. His father was a Hall of Fame coach and Billy's two sons attended college on athletic scholarships. Billy has been speaking on parenting athletes for 15 years.

2006-09-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 9-10-06

Dear Billy,

This past week a girl on my daughter's travel soccer team (under 11) was removed from the roster. Her parents are divorced, and on the nights and weekends her father has her, he refuses to bring her to practices and games. Initially, the coach punished her by taking playing time away during the first two weekends. This week the coach made the decision that it wasn't going to work out so he dismissed her from the team. This just doesn't seem fair to me. What do you think?

Concerned Mom in Indianapolis

Dear Concerned Mom,

This had to be a very difficult call for your coach. In youth sports, sometimes it is the parent that is the distraction, not the athlete. This isn't justice. This is the result of a dad who just doesn't get it. My guess is that he's trying to get back at his ex-wife through his daughter. In your coach's defense, he has 10-15 other girls on his team who need to learn right from wrong, and it is not possible to play kids in games who continually miss practices. At the present time, this child is pulled from both ends by her parents. They need to straighten out their differences before she can worry about sports. Could the other parents on the team help?

Dear Sports Minded Parents,

By now I'm sure most of you have heard about the youth football coach who attacked an opposing player with a full speed body block, sending that player horrifically to the ground. His son had been blocked to the ground by this bigger opponent after the whistle was blown by the official. The coach (and dad) lost his cool, ran onto the field, and took matter into his own hands. What a mistake! As parents, we never want to see our child hurt or embarrassed while playing sports. Is this realistic? Absolutely not. The fact is, if you play sports long enough you will get embarrassed, and all athletes receive injuries of some type over the long haul. Please email me (askbillyshep@aol.com) with your thoughts and comments of similar things you have seen or witnessed. This incident, and similar ones, seem to happen way too often.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Stressing academics should take place all year long, not just at the beginning of a new school year.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

Billy Shepherd is a former Indiana Mr. Basketball and a professional athlete (ABA) who earned 15 varsity letters in high school. His father was a Hall of Fame coach and Billy's two sons attended college on athletic scholarships. Billy has been speaking on parenting athletes for 15 years.

2006-09-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 9-3-06

Dear Billy,

Our family really enjoyed watching the Little League World Series on television the past couple of weeks. We have a son age twelve and a daughter age nine. They are still talking about some of the plays made in the field and some of the great hitting at the plate. It was fun listening to the commentators talk about the individual players and their families. You could see how excited the parents were in the stands. What a great way to spend on hour with your kids watching television. It was much more entertaining than a movie or other programming on television. We can't wait until next year!

Iowa Parents

Dear Iowa Parents,

I agree! The Little League World Series is one of those sporting events that I would like to see live someday. Why not take your kids next year? I read a great quote from a parent of a former player who played in the series over twenty years ago. Following a tough loss, the son said he will never forget what his father said to him. "It's OK, you did the best that you could do and we're very proud of you." That player, Lloyd McClendon, went on to play and manage in the big leagues. Get the picture?

Dear Parents,

Most parents, let alone the athletes, have no idea how hard the adjustment is from high school to college athletics. Very seldom is it easy. More often than not the athlete is unsuccessful or decides not to play at all. Even when it works, it sometimes takes more time to adjust than what was expected. It's a great 'growing up time' for everyone involved. Each stage of an athlete's life is challenging and difficult. The step from high school to college is the most challenging of all.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Be realistic about your child's athletic ability and athletic potential. Don't expect too much, regardless of their age or ability.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

2006-08-27T08:30:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting column for week of 8-27-06

Dear Billy,

Our third grade son is playing youth football for the first time. His older brother (fourth grade) is starting his second season. The boys are quite different. The older one seems to be playing because all of his buddies are. The younger one loves the sport and has some talent. My question is how hard should we push them and how do we handle each one? I don't see the older one playing much longer, but the younger one could be a gamer.

Football Parents (Indy)

Dear Football Parents,

Don't push them at all. Third and fourth grade is way too early to determine who is going to be the best athlete down the road. Your job is to get them to practices and games on time and try and let them have some fun. In the end, their coaches will determine, along with their teammates, the ability level they possess and how far they can proceed with those abilities.

Dear Parents,

I received an email from a girl's youth softball coach who was very frustrated with his team and most of the parents. My first thought was that the team was losing games and the players and parents were unhappy with the coach. It turned out to be just the opposite. This coach wanted his team to participate in a tournament with girls a year or two older. The parents vetoed the idea because they felt their team couldn't compete and win, so why play? The coach wanted the girls to gain experience. To the coach's credit, he was wanting these games to show the girls how quality teams played, and he was willing to take the losses to do so. The coach was very frustrated with his team and parents for not seeing it his way. Personally, I thought his idea was a good one. Girls ages 11 and 12 need to be challenged, and winning isn't always the answer. Playing against better competition will do more to help an athlete improve than playing against competition of equal or lesser ability. I wish more youth coaches were more concerned about kids improving than worrying about the wins and losses.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Parents who want their kids to be athletes make a big mistake by starting every conversation with their kids by talking about sports.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

2006-08-20T16:16:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 8-20-06

Dear Billy,

This past week I took my ten year old son out to play nine holes of golf at the local course. He struggled on the first couple of holes and was getting discouraged. That's when I decided to play a scramble (where we both hit and take the best shot for our next shot) for the last seven holes. It worked to perfection. We used some of his shots, he forgot about his bad shots, and we shot a pretty good score. He was talking about the seven or eight really good shots he hit instead of thinking about some of the bad ones. I wanted to share this with you and your readers. The most important part of this day was that we had fun and got to spend two hours on the golf course without worrying about the results. I told him the real fun would come when he beats me in a few years.

Daddy Bob in Indianapolis

Dear Daddy Bob,

I've always said that one of the most important elements in any sport is to be able to taste some type of success. That way you will want to go back and try it again. Has he talked about next time yet? It's great to see parents figure out a way to practice with their kids and stay involved without the added pressure. This one works great for a young person who may have an interest in golf.

Dear Parents,

Do you, or have you had, a son or daughter play sports at the college level? How did you react knowing that you might be losing that daily contact with them on just how things are going? My daughter left for college last week and is playing golf. (Don't worry, I told her long ago not to believe everything she reads on the sports page.) It's been hard on me, not being able to talk with her after her practices, finding out how things are going. Knowing she has a cell phone makes me want to call. (I must admit I've left a message or two.) At the same time, I realized this is a 'growing up' period for her, and she may not want to talk with dad or mom. Looking back at my college playing days, I'm glad my parents took a back seat and didn't ask questions about 'how practice is going'. It's been a tough few days for me, but I'm following the same pattern my parents took with me. I'm sure I'll feel better by Saturday. She will be playing in her first collegiate golf match. I'll be there at the first tee to offer some positive support that all athletes need, regardless of their age or sport. Maybe we can get caught up when the match is over!

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Almost all kids like talking about their game when they have won or played real well. Don't expect the same excitement after a loss or bad performance. There's nothing wrong with being sensitive and understanding.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

2006-08-13T16:21:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 8-13-06

Dear Billy,

How can parents support their children during trying experiences in the team sports arena? Specifically, when your child isn't getting the kind of playing time they would like, how can you encourage them to maintain a level of commitment to the achievement of the entire team while simultaneously validating their feelings of personal disappointment?

Playing Time Parents

Dear PT Parents,

As children participate in team sports, they will discover they aren't always the best player on the team, and that's okay. Reinforce why and how they excel in sports and other activities, whether through natural ability, hard work, or a combination of both. Encourage them to work hard and smart while maintaining a positive attitude. Impress upon your child the importance of having fun and giving their best effort. Dedication and practice will pay off, elevating your child's desire and ability to successfully participate in team sports.

Dear Parents,

Be a good role model for your children and their athletics. Having proper 'parent ethics' as your children participate in sports, sets the tone for the other people around you. Listed here are some general rules to follow during your child's games, regardless of their age. Don't be overly critical of the coach and team members, and keep harsh comments to yourself. Encourage all players on your team and the opposing team. Applaud the efforts and teamwork, not the final score. Tell your child how proud you are of their good attitude and sportsmanship. Tell your child that you love them. Have fun and enjoy the moment. It will be gone before you know it!

Sports Tip of the Week

If you feel you have the makings of that special athlete, give them the time, space, and opportunity to grow with their ability and style. Challenge them (don't push them) to reach their potential in a positive and upbeat way!

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

2006-08-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 8-6-06

Dear Billy,

Our twelve year old son just completed his travel league baseball program for the summer. It was a good experience for him, but it really opened our family's eyes as to how the other teams put so much emphasis on winning. In our last tournament the championship game down to the last play of the last inning. With our team leading by two runs, our opponents had two men on base when a foul ball homer was declared to be a fair ball. The home plate umpire called it foul, but the tournament director called a meeting at home plate. It was then determined to be a fair ball, thus our team lost. The tournament director had a son on the winning team. Our coaches handled the situation like champions. It was very hard on the kids, in fact they are still talking about it. Just a sports story that we thought would appeal to your readers. We know this happens to others , but it'ss very hard to accept.

Baseball Parents in Indianapolis

Dear Baseball Parents,

Everyone involved in youth sports knows of a similar story or been through a similar scenario. Is it fair? Is there really anything you can do about it? That's why I love coaches and parents who stress the 'life lessons' learned through sports. While it doesn't soften the blow of defeat, it does point out that there is a right way to win and lose. Keep stressing the importance of having fun and doing things the right way. Hopefully the bad calls and good calls will even out as time goes on.

Dear Parents,

Have your teenage athletes ever officiated a basketball game or been an umpire during a baseball game? It's a good way to get kids involved in athletics without participating by playing. I remember vividly calling baseball games in the little league program during by high school days. I'm sure I missed some calls, and yes, I heard about it on the close plays or ball and strike calls. But you know what? It was a great experience. It was fun to interact with the athletes, coaches, and fans. I still remember some funny and not so funny remarks made by those young aspiring little leaguers. Help your kids get involved or stay involved in athletics by other means than just playing the sport. It will help give them a different appreciation of the sports they are involved with.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

Parents help their kids more by stressing fundamentals than winning the game or contest. Kids are more likely to stay with their sports if they are having fun and making improvement, win or lose.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

2006-07-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 7-23-06

Dear Billy,

Our son is entering his senior year of high school this fall. He has played varsity basketball for two years, and gave up football in ninth grade. The football coach has asked him to come out for the team. They need help at wide receiver and feel that he is the perfect fit. Will this hurt his basketball chances for college? At one time he was a Division I prospect, but will probably go to a smaller school to play now.

Questioning Parents (Indiana)

Dear Questioning Parents,

Playing football should not hurt his chances of playing college basketball. The only exception might be the top 100-200 rated players in the nation who haven’t signed scholarships. They run a risk that any injury could dramatically impact their scholarship situation. Over the years I have witnessed a number of athletes who added a sport late in high school and it ended up being their sport of choice for college-- and they received financial aid! If your son wants to play football, I say he should go for it.

Dear Parents,

How big of a role do older siblings play for younger brothers or sisters of the same family? Do they really set the tone for the others to follow? I believe older siblings play a big role in what happens to the rest of the family members coming through the same school system. For example, if the oldest child is a hard worker and spends the proper time practicing and preparing, the younger kids in that family have some one to look up to. The coaches tend to love this kind of kid, also.

On the other hand, if the older athlete is a slacker, has a bad attitude, or doesn’t listen to the coaches, the younger athletes following from the same family start off at a disadvantage, although most coaches wouldn’t admit to this. Is this fair? No, but it happens more than you might expect.
This doesn’t mean that the younger ones can’t excel, because every athlete is different. However, in most cases it just may take longer to get the opportunity, It’s just human nature.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week

In the heat of the summer limit your child’s strenuous activity for the coolest parts of the day. Make sure they take sufficient breaks and keep fluids in their body.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

Billy Shepherd is a former Indiana Mr. Basketball and a professional athlete (ABA) who earned 15 varsity letters in high school. His father was a Hall of Fame coach and Billy’s two sons attended college on athletic scholarships. Billy has been speaking on parenting athletes for 15 years.

2006-06-18T16:13:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 6-18-06

Dear Billy,

Our son is entering ninth grade in August. He is a very good tennis player and his high school coach has told us that he should be one of the school's top two players. Here's the problem. His high school team is having volunteer workouts three times a week. They are scheduled at the same time as his private lessons with his pro. What should we do? We don't want him to get off to a bad start.

Tennis Parents in Illinois

Dear Tennis Parents,

You have answered your own question. If you don't want him to get off to a bad start, get him involved with his high school team immediately. By attending the volunteer workouts he is showing his commitment to his new teammates and coaching staff. Reschedule his workouts with his pro. He needs to make a good first impression with his new high school coach. The quicker he gets to know his new teammates, the better chance he has of being accepted. Believe me, it will make it a more fun and rewarding experience over the next four years.

Dear Parents,

Most parents and athletes accept the fact that injuries are a part of sports. However, trying to avoid and prevent injuries is also very important. Once an athlete becomes serious about sports, he has to think about the consequences of other activities he might choose . By now, everyone has heard about Super Bowl quarterback Ben Roethlingsberger and his motorcycle accident. When I was playing high school sports, my parents discouraged things like skate boarding, tackle football without pads, water skiing during baseball season, and other questionable activities. Motorcycles and scooters were out of the question. While we all want our kids to have fun, they must realize that risk taking can be hazardous to their sport. As parents, you must set reasonable guidelines as you would for any aspect of your child's well being and safety. What guidelines are you setting for your own children?

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week
Sports discipline and the overall general discipline of your children go hand in hand. The development of both should start at an early age.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.

Sports Parenting Column for week of 6-11-06

2006-06-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

Sports Parenting Column for week of 6-11-06

Dear Billy,

Our two sons, ages 5 and 7 , love all sports. Our family history suggests that the boys are not going to get very big or tall. Our doctor seems to agree. Should we push them into sports like baseball or golf where size doesn't seem to be so important? Both of them really like basketball. Should we sign them up for that sport or concentrate on others? Both are athletic and like most sports

Short Parents in Indiana

Dear Short Parents,

Don't short change your children because of your height and concerns that your sons may not be tall. Your kids are still very young and they should have the chance to enjoy all the sports! Don't try to predict the future. Get them involved in all types of sports to help their social skills, become part of a team, learn to accept and prepare for responsibility, and work on the necessary fundamentals so the sport becomes fun. Time will help separate them from the sports they can't compete in because of size, strength, speed, and skill. In the meantime, almost all sports overlap in helping youngsters become better and more skillful in what they end up choosing.

Dear Parents,

Do you have your opinions of what separates the great athletes from the good ones? The true answer may differ somewhat from sport to sport, but I recently read a statement from a long-time coach that hit the nail on the head. Jack Bauerle, a men's and women's swimming coach for over twenty five years at the University of Georgia, said â€œOne of the main differences that I have seen between good and great athletes is the great athletes are very consistent in their workouts. The great athlete rarely has a 'bad' training day and even when things are not going quite right they still find a way to accomplish goals within the workout. The consistent high level of training is what places the elite athlete at a higher level than the rest. Whether your talking about team sports or individual sports, excellent training equates to success on game day.

Sports Parenting Tip of the Week
A good rule to follow when your children first become involved in sports is to 'let kids be kids'. Don't be too serious or pushy.

We encourage your questions on sports parenting and athletics. Send to askbillyshep@aol.com or write P. O. Box 70 Carmel, IN 46082.